The internal terrorist. Being caught up in a swirl is to suffer the distress and despair of feeling helpless inside oneself. This blog explores what a swirl is, where it comes from and what to do about it.
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They are connected, but he is alone, and is disconnected. Robert is on his way to meet Erica. He has no idea if she is interested in him. He is in danger of slipping into doubt and despair. What's going on in his head? Something like this... Distress and despair rule him, and there is a black hole He is caught up in a swirl.
One possibility is an early childhood experience lacking in affirmation or expression of loving feelings. If one cannot ask for what one needs (as a child) then thinking and feeling are badly affected. So the individual is forced into a space of minimal agency where there is no way to negotiate daily life. This is about not having a voice of one's own, instead always hearing someone else's actual or imagined critical words. Someone else holds the initiative and this feels shameful, and so leads to the swirl experience.
Notes from discussions over the past few years, showing the origins of this blog We need an organising principle or objective or a theme to focus on which will begin to integrate the myriad thoughts, quotes, examples we have assembled. It may be the Super ego, the internal judge which inhibits autonomy and independence. Is there some kind of attraction to one’s own swirl, self defeating and destructive though it is? eg wallowing in self pity does offer itself as a way to fill in time, and can be justified, rationalised. Is it possible to create a space between feelings and negative self judgement eg when inside a swirl, 'worthless' is a feeling, whereas from outside a swirl it can be seen as a judgement, an attribution , a thought. Actually, no more than that. So, swirlees mostly feel imprisoned with no way out. Yet counterintuitively there is a fear of pausing, of slowing down, of looking, perhaps because it might “open up the nerve ends.” Is there always an el...