Notes from discussions over the past few years, showing the origins of this blog
We need an organising principle or objective or a theme to focus on which will begin to integrate the myriad thoughts, quotes, examples we have assembled. It may be the Super ego, the internal judge which inhibits autonomy and independence.
Is there some kind of attraction to one’s own swirl, self defeating and destructive though it is? eg wallowing in self pity does offer itself as a way to fill in time, and can be justified, rationalised.
Is it possible to create a space between feelings and negative self judgement eg when inside a swirl, 'worthless' is a feeling, whereas from outside a swirl it can be seen as a judgement, an attribution, a thought. Actually, no more than that.
So, swirlees mostly feel imprisoned with no way out. Yet counterintuitively there is a fear of pausing, of slowing down, of looking, perhaps because it might “open up the nerve ends.”
Is there always an element of self hatred in the swirl and does slowing down make it more likely that one will get in touch with it?
However, one may always have to slow down and be in touch with one's bodily experience in order to escape the pull of the swirl vortex.
‘I feel worthless’ is not a feeling, it’s a judgement and it actually denies the essential vitality of the living body.
A person who ‘feels bad’, (at fault) can find reasons for this discomfort and so be led to a conviction of worthlessness. Something of value, which is their affective system, is cauterised. And the self soothing capacity is gone.
Often there’s a frightened child image\metaphor; the one who is blamed for being frightened and making a noise by crying. So the super ego becomes a persecuting internal object, and to survive one has to comply with that object, but the compliance becomes crippling because there is no internal authority to be taken up.
R An extreme example: quote from a client “I was incubated in terror” eg the violence - physical or emotional - of the powerful parental figure, and that violence is internanlised and used against the self, with no let up, and it feels irremediable.
Any remedy comes from pausing to question the internal persecution. And seeing it as a construct that can be deconstructed.
< R Story with pictures.....journey to hell and back.
Swirldom maybe is centered around Bosch type imagery that can change from malignant to benign. Swirl journey about re-imageing. Imagination. Fantasy. Both appear real and concrete......to be seen in the journey as constructed and therefore able to be changed. >
However, having a swirl experience feels too real and frightening to be thought of as a construct that is subject to the capacity for change. There is nightmarish terror, and paralysis and victimhood, which, though made up of self generated imagery, have an immediacy and reality that transcends current 'reality'. So it all seems too real and invasive and resistant to change because of the strength or power of the imagery.
Note issues of agency and choice around generation of imagery. Also note effect of mood swings - existential mood states - and the inevitability of suffering as a universal experience. Buddhism.
Stress the difference between ruminating about one’s predicament and blaming others for it and the alternative of taking some action, reclaiming agency and finding a way out that is not just an escape but a pathway to something that affirms life.
We are saying it is everyone’s experience, this hell, and mostly it passes, as does a nightmare, but sometimes the effect of the swirl is lasting, and we feel anxious and depressed, with an underlying unease which can spoil our lives.
So can we get away from this hellish state that we conjure up to torment ourselves with?
This is the story of Jim and his journey to hell and back.......
He hears someone speaking to him, in a voice like a parent, saying things like “You’re worthless.”, “ You’re bad, and will never be good for anything”, “ No one loves you because you are unlovable” This is where negative attributions become set in concrete.
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< K This may be useful:
In his taxonomy of emotions Darwin suggested six basic groups. A century later Silvan Tomkins' four volumes on affect theory listed a very similar set of families of primary emotions:
Joy-enjoyment;
Anxiety-fear-terror;
Irritation-anger-rage-fury;
Sadness-hurt-grief;
Interest-excitement
Surprise-shock;
Distaste-disgust-dis-smell;
And 'shame' >
At a critical point in the spectrum, feeling embarrassed or ashamed turns into being shamed or humiliated. Internally generated shame turns into shaming -- something done to us that violates our sense of 'the fair-go' and not unnaturally we tend to react against this.
These reactions include:
Attacking others (being 'defensive' is just another form of this);
Attacking (or blaming) ourselves;
Hiding from others;
or hiding from ourselves.
This compass of shame-avoidant responses also reflects four major social crises: aggression, depression, isolation, and addiction -- suggesting that the roots of much violence and abuse, suicide and self harm, social and ecological apathy and a wide range of addictive behaviours have a common root in unacknowledged shame.
We often use other feelings to avoid feeling shame. Indeed most of what we feel is more about the other feelings that come with or are associated with shame. Feelings of anxiety/fear, sorrow/distress, irritation/anger, and disgust/loathing are often masks for underlying shame.
They have very different body language and allow us to avoid feeling and showing what our shame might actually feel like. Consider how we use the word 'sorry' to express remorse or apology. The underlying feeling is often 'shame' or 'embarrassment' but saying 'sorry' rather than 'I am ashamed' expresses 'sorrow' or 'sadness' -- verbally and visually -- and it stimulates sadness (rather than acknowledged shame) in the other person.
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K Christopher Hitchens refers to his cancer as “ a malignant alien inside me....that will die with me “ Remarkably similar to the internal saboteur, one physical the other emotional, both parasites intent on destroying their host. Perhaps a swirl is a manifestation of this self destructive phenomenon.
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R Swirl
Temporal and spatial co-ordinates. Core-affect distortion.
“Take up your own authority”. Resistance to this is superego voice.
Defenses-re self preservation and diminishment.
In the swirl the person is not in charge of themselves. Defending against the swirl becomes part of the swirl.
R Swirl an aberration.
Conflict between stasis and change:
2 possibilities:
1.The swirl wins
Person understands it and fights etc.
Co-ordinates
Time
Space
Core-unexpressed affect-inhibition
Attunement/attachment
Ps > D
Intensity
Self-loathing
3 step process
Descriptions-way in
Way out
How to pass through the open door.
Dualism a co-ordinate of the swirl
Indecision-anxiety replaces decisiveness.
Without affect..no energy for anything to change.
No affect in centre of swirl. It is a prison
Person can not see
Can not act
Can not think
They are shut down!
Swirls habitual-intentional
Swirls are constructions to deal with fear and anxiety.
Introducing the observing ego-sabotages the saboteur.
Swirl - the internal room
The key?
Recurrent mood states
Swirl communalities:
Narrow spectrum
Deep structure
Diminishment-shame and self-envy
The saboteur is into restriction and imprisonment
Psychic freedom v psychic imprisonment.
Swirl-vortex-suffering
What is the swirl?
Where did we come from?
Where are we going?
Where do we go to when we die?
Despair an attribution
Attributions are always comparative.
Lack of entitlement to authority
Despair is recurrent and triggered.....comes in waves
Identify destructive past
Breathing spaces?
Life and death struggle
Despair tree versus hope tree
Futility
Distraction
Spectrum- the field of psychotherapy is very broad, like the colour spectrum
Psychoanalysis a very small part of the spectrum
Only a very few people are able to distinguish the tonality of psychoanalysis.
Hope tree re neuroplasticity
Our model is a model of recognition that may be a precursor to change
Swirl- 2 x dimensional
Vortex- 3 x dimensional-depth
Different colours for different moods
Swirl-lack of energy and optimism
Energy
Motivation } all lacking
Direction
Person in swirl like a lower animal...trapped
and in a closed system
Movement out of swirl is made possible by taking a different perspective
Get out of swirl by being less referential or self-referential.
Referentiality-symbol formation.
Drive to explore context of swirl rather than be rendered mute by it.
Social swirl v personal swirl.
Distinctions change perspective.
Outer brain v inner brain. Power game being sucke by inner brain.
Self defeating circularity.
Coach model.
Executive self v true self v false self
Graphic of swirl + story
William Blake-dead to the world
Introspection v mindfulness
Increasing agency not enough
More money = more choices? More of the same does not mean better.
Swirls re services
1.Recognition of swirl state
2.What to do about it.Strategies to know it and understand it
3.Consideration of implications of it
Life v death
Issues of the energy component
Energy-destructive or creative.
Image of outer space as metaphor for emotional space
Black hole of depression
Formless galaxy-p.schizoid state- losing touch with reality.
See Pilgrim’s Progress- his Journey is not contemplative, it's all action steps
< Narrative re swirl
‘Jack’ going in. Text of move in and out
Monologue?
Facing swirl rather than flight changes perspective.
“This is my pain not some external master”
Pilgrim’s Progress
Looks like Jack is going into something outside himself >
Vortex is a projection
In vortex the sensorium closes down.
Loss of sensorium > Panic
Re image
1.Swirl- sucked in
2.How to get out
3.Out to where?
Importance of ambivalence
Vortex a cosmic joke!
< R Frames-
1st frame ominous and mysterious
Introduce figure/avatar going into the vortex.
Game player in observing position
Scenes from a swirl:
Moving into a swirl
Entrenched in swirl
Swirl has total control > despair + entrapment
Swirl self constructed saboteur
Game- you v saboteur
Game-2 figures- light v. dark
Game of conflict
Successful outcome - vanquish saboteur
Berne-games
Script to be acted out. What script?
Serious games
Different swirls:
Depression
alienation
Schizoid
Anomie
Isolation
Text and graphics representation of extremes >
Pictures & text-Dante’s Inferno
Reflective space > ability to generate redescription.
1.Waking up-dream memories
2.Transition from dream reality>actual reality.
3.Lack of energy etc- difficulty of getting it back
Note voices-speaking- do not get up!
Negative voice, to be overcome-or denied.
Day in the life of :
A.Transition from dream to reality
B.Transition from bed to getting up - this >
has to combat ritual self-condemnation.
>Critical voice not overcome > transition to swirl.
Something dragging - self loathing.
Saboteur not self destructive - attacks host but does not kill it-Swirl-parasite.
Parasite interdependent (co-dependent) with its host. Its existence depends on its ability to sabotage the host-ie it takes energy away from the host.
The parasite comes from outside. (?)
The saboteur comes from inside.
Difference between dream state and non sleep state.
Difficulty of getting out of bed,
>avoidance of danger
>surfeit of noise
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R Come out of swirl by going into it.
Storyline
Wake up
Ruminations
>move from worry to being sucked in or taken over by something
Nightmare inside and outside
No choice-into a dark space.
Brief moment between threat of vortex and being sucked in.
Internal power/force feels like the external one.
Form of illness/cancer
Need for a simple story with simple words.
Need for a named person.
In swirl there is a loss of touch with time > no bearings > powerless
Experience of being lost in undifferentiated swirl/vortex
Note the presence in the swirl experience of shame, diminishment and self-loathing.
Where does the power of the swirl come from?
Vortex entry involves a sense of abandonment
Swirl - addictive - acts as home
Swirl familiar - prisoner looks forward to torturer
Craving for the familiar.
Sensorium breaking down- a form of projection.
Denial of authority
Torment preferable to taking up authority.
K There may be a tension between the two, suffering the torment delivered by the punitive internal judge versus the wish for autonomy to take up one’s own authority. Is it possible that this tension is the (or one) origin of the swirl?
Who is in charge??
I am worthless - ego in control
K Sullivan Anxiety is primeval ‘Roles’ are distractions from that When doing (roles) fails swirl sweeps in, although in itself a distraction
K The self attributions “ I’m useless (therefore) there’s no point to anyting “ are the bad aspects of the swirl.
Are ‘Projects’ attempts to override mere distractions?
Importance of differentiation : people don’t want to have the sameness of sheep and just flock together they (mostly) want to have a point of difference eg status and will engage in a project to achieve the difference.
In a swirl personal authority is at lowest ebb, leads to diminishment and a regression to the infant stste of dependence.
R More than one story here. ie different people have different swirl experiences ( as one would expect) so ‘Jim’ will have a different swirl from ‘Jane’ and ‘Bob’s’ will be different from ‘Bill’s”
Swirl-nervous breakdown. Swirl experience is one of not knowing what to do, and panicking. Escaping from this predicament calls for ‘faith’ in one’s being. but in the distress of the swirl, how can one trust one’s capacity to ‘be’ when in a panic and paralysed state?
What is the difference between swirl and other dysfunctional mental states? ie Could the swirl have biochemical causality, or is it always attributable to the psychic conflict as referred to above, and as such self induced? Answer-both!
Swirl about exaggerated false perceptions.
Swirl not just about depression but also terrifying.
Enclosure > zoo metaphors
Image of zoo and onlookers.
4 frames:
1.Enclosure with recognisable animal
2.Bubble
3.Swirl
4.As infant
5.What then-self perception.
In Swirl all about denial-terror.
Alpha /beta apects of self....parts that are in different worlds.
Implicit in the alpha state is a denial of the beta state---of death? or of failure or pessimism or scepticism. In alpha state one is calm confident planful and optimistic ie future oriented. Beta is pre occupied with the past and the pall it casts over the present and future “It won’t work” is beta response to any new idea or proposal.
And maybe the beta state is a denial of the alpha state--denial of vitality for oneself.
Alpha & beta states ..part objects that inhabit different spaces.
In swirl regression to infant state, so necessary to engage adult part.
In swirl, weighed down by negative affect.....and thoughts.
In the middle of a swirl there is nothing.
And in death there is nothing....
So in swirl death is brought forward > fear of nothing in one’s centre.
J staying in bed acting out fear that there is nothing. So bed is a denial of his being and a denial of death. Enacting is but not doing it.
Swirl avoidance of existential loneliness.
As if. Planning antidote to fear of nothingness. We act as if we know the future - that is what planning is. Exploration of ‘as if’. As if values involve constancy.
Centre of swirl not calm. Ego ideal does not include hostility etc-it always involves calm centre.
Ego ideal necessary as aspiration. Calm centre comes from integration. Calm centre involves relinquishing ego ideal
Internal saboteur thrives on fantasy re ego ideal.
3 modus operandi
1.Upper one- Person experiences swirl and learns to understand it
2.Distraction model-swirl experience denied and thus useless > addicted to distraction, alcohol, sex etc
3.Suffering model. Here swirl overtakes persons’ capacity to understand or explore them = paranoid schizoid position.
Difference between self and ego
If person suffering then no distinction between self and ego.
Which aspect of person comes to therapy?-it must be the self. Ego not where the feelings are.
Ego responds to cbt but self isn’t touched by it.
Distraction a defence against indifference /nothingness/ existential despair/ mortality
Omnipotence <> humiliation
I feel bad = attack on self by ego (superego)
Regression = i do not have adult energy - I feel like a baby - but in this context a baby is useless and unworthy.
Judgement a diversion.
Yalom- anxiety -fear of death
Facing anxiety = facing one’s own mortality.
Some swirls exemplars of a diversion from mortality. Others (eg deprssion and anxiety,or anomie) may be induced by despair about being here no longer and having no influence over this.
Self construct so powerful that the ego just gives up. Hopefully temporarily.
R.Relationship between abundance and swirldom. Bifurcation of being and doing. Capitalism about doing not being > psychic confusion.
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T S Eliot
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
Eliot’s Shadow is like a swirl, inducing inaction, paralysis, and blocking the ‘way out’ with a conviction that one is helpless. That conviction replaces thinking, so the problem cannot be solved.
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‘Difference between self and ego’ Yes, what is the difference? Is ‘self’ a pervasive sense of ‘presence’ and ‘all that is one’s history’ and ‘ego’ a construct that implies a cognitive and executive aspect of the self?
…...................
Notion of overshadowing - an image is overshadowed by the very words used to describe it, and as a result not remembered as well as the image by itself
Where does swirl energy come from? If superego - why is it so powerful?
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< Notes for a an approach to a storyline about the swirl:
It begins - life is jogging along, then one day or more likely one night an uneasy feeling looms into awareness, like a mild anxiety with perhaps some irritability or restlessness. Undirected movement may follow," I can't sit or lie still because something inside me is agitating my body and my mind, like a washing machine is churning in my gut."
First response - Reaching for analgesics or valium or zoloft or a sleeping pill. Or some distraction - TV, DVD, video game, ipod, facebook, email. Maybe a spouse or a friend for some comfort, or anything which might allay the agitation and rising panic and offer possible escape or relief.
The experience - Aware of feeling isolated, because it's unshared, something abnormal, that marks one off as not normal, and when it gets worse, " I had to call the doctor ", " I thought I'd have to get to a hospital.", " I had wild thoughts that I was dying. " , " My body can't cope with this mind chaos, these brain fireworks." , " It's like being in a closed space, claustrophobic, how do I get out when I feel swept up in a swirling vortex, a maelstrom, a grand opera of the soul, with catastrophe imminent? "
" Someone inside is intent on soul murder; who is it? Can I talk to him? Will he answer? Is there anyone there? No, it's just me and my fear, we're bad company. But what is the fear? It's not rational, I can't explain it but it's all mine, it gets going inside me. Is my chemistry out of balance? Are they 'bad thoughts because I feel guilty, ashamed, remorse, regret? It's funneling, whirling, gaining momentum and force, like a tornado, a circular swirl with an empty centre. Is that centre lifeless,
something annihilated? Is that the fear, the panic, the high anxiety? "
What to do? - Stay with the anxiety and agitation, be curious about what is happening, be aware it's happened before, and is not life threatening, observe the shape and form of it, the 'coordinates', do deep and measured breathing, slow the pulse, meditate (if possible), maybe slow walking, slowly sip water.
Perhaps writing a description will calm the anxiety. Stern says feelings are emotions with words attached. Putting words on paper may reveal the emotions behind the feelings. In a panic we forget what it's like to be free of anxiety, like we forget wellness when in illness. But by not drugging or distracting this swirl experience one can encounter strong and real emotion while in an existential mood state, a sense of the fragility along with the energy in the swirl.
The forces of eros and thanatos have joined in battle and the war zone is the inside of one's head. Fit to burst perhaps, but nevertheless alive.
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‘There was a sea of dissatisfaction and emptiness everywhere. And that was why people dreamed of escape.’ Kurt Wallander
Maybe the swirl operates at different levels, personal and all the way up to a societal one.
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By examining ‘the neuroses’ - clinically - they are ‘contained’ by their definition. The diminishment that goes with them is characterised as regression to infant helplessness.
Therapy is a safe house but residence may prevent participation in the wider world. Its claim is that either in or after therapy the client is in a better place/condition to to live inside and outside the self, but it may be a bubble (retreat) that delays or hinders development. RG: therapy is about reducing mental and emotional pain.
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Compare and contrast: (!)
phases one and two of the swirl experience = terror/anxiety/paralysis
phases 3 and 4 = looking into it/exploring the swirl via its co ordinates/ emerging and renewing participation
4 noble truths
1 and 2 = anguish/ suffering and their origins
3 and 4 = cessation and the path
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29th dec ‘10
We both speak of the value of choice, of expanding the client’s potential to choose as a goal of therapy. But this could be a romantic idea, dependent on a faith in the rational nature of making choices, which will facilitate betterment of some kind. We might include emotionally based choice, but still want such choice to bring something positive.
Lone Frank writes: pp 15 - ‘rationality and unconscious automatism fight battles inside us...the outcome determines our view of the world and our everyday choices.’
It might be worthwhile to think more about the issue of choice and how many degrees of freedom are possible, how much is pre determined by nature and nurture and other contexts, how much flexibility is possible because of brain placticity etc
And then there’s the hoary old issue of what we mean by the ‘self’.......
These terms recur in what we write, and we are accountable for how we use them.
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Causes of swirl 20 Jan 2011
Loss of language, of the capacity to express
Suppression of infantile self---- --refusal of same = petrified of diminishment
fear of incapacity - inability to think, to feel, to see what is there, no energy to overcome lethargy or entropy,
Near death experience, the membrane separating one from death is under threat
fear of intimacy, of being rejected by the other if I say what I feel or what I want, and then suffering ridicule, shame and diminishment, so I become restricted and suppress what would be natural to express, and lose my sense of entitlement
Feeling desperate,no hope about anything, about to fall out of life, of living, panic ensuing, next step is complete chaos and disintegration
Feeling uncertain, disoriented, confused, (symptoms of dementia, but the healthy brain is also subject to these phenomena) so that anxiety rises rapidly
Jan 26th ‘11
There are so many ideas and repetitions in the above. How do we integrate them?
What would telling a story about the swirl experience achieve?
Is it a self reinforcing circularity? where does it get the energy that gives it its power?
Another possible story outline: Here is a man -subject to swirls- sensitive to how he thinks others judge him and with an inner voice that judges him as well, and critically. Indeed it hounds him with critical mantras- ‘you’re useless, hopeless, unlovable’
We see him walking aimlessly in a street, alone and downcast- we hear his inner voice- we see into his head, and how the swirl pulls him in-falling into a dark space where he loses energy and purpose and feels helpless and hopeless, panicky and anxious. He stops, leans against a wall, tries to breath deeply and slowly to contain the panic. He walks again, stepping carefully in case he trips over something on the ground, as he has already tripped up inside himself.
What happens then? Is he on his way to meet someone? in a cafe? Is he on the way to the doctor, to get sleeping pills? Does he go back to his rented room, to bed?
[ Even though feeling helpless he does have choices: to succumb completely to the swirl, and despair; to distract himself by drink, drugs, sex, TV, a run; to look around, explore the context and content of the swirl, see its shape, its co ordinates, how it takes control of him, what the voice of sabotage is telling him. Can he push back and question the criticism? Can he go along with the swirly feelings without panicking? and in this way get his bearings again and recognise what he brings to the swirl - it is his, after all - and how he allows it to destroy his self respect and stop any self soothing.]
Re choice-the swirl experience seems to deprive the person of any meaningful sense of agency. That is part of the problem. Within the swirl there is a felt sense of being object and at the mercy of this overwhelming experience. The difficulty is compounded by the seeming impossibility of what is counter-intuitive. Namely being able for example to recognize and own the diminishment in the moment and all that entails. What adds to the swirl experience is the sense of shame that seemingly prevents self acknowledgement.
February 13 ‘11
Note from 27 Jan meeting
Ref Pigrims Progress. We want a modern day narrative/parable with a main character who is on a journey into and out of hell via a swirl experience with nightmarish imagery graphics and text
The idea of the swirl as a virus waiting for a host Something that is outside that crosses the skin boundary and lodges inside. Initially an object, it becomes part of the subject.
A middle voice phenomenon, simultaneously inside and outside
Story line: the swirl is floating free, ‘chooses’ Robert, a suitable subject, and enters him. It is a malevolent force, outside, that becomes an insider, part of the invaded, the host. A parasite that takes varied forms, one being an internal saboteur, voicing self destructive mantras
Feb 17
We need an organising principle or objective or a theme to focus on which will begin to integrate the myriad thoughts, quotes, examples we have assembled. It may be the Super ego, the internal judge which inhibits autonomy and independence.
Is there some kind of attraction to one’s own swirl, self defeating and destructive though it is? eg wallowing in self pity does offer itself as a way to fill in time, and can be justified, rationalised.
Is it possible to create a space between feelings and negative self judgement eg when inside a swirl, 'worthless' is a feeling, whereas from outside a swirl it can be seen as a judgement, an attribution, a thought. Actually, no more than that.
So, swirlees mostly feel imprisoned with no way out. Yet counterintuitively there is a fear of pausing, of slowing down, of looking, perhaps because it might “open up the nerve ends.”
Is there always an element of self hatred in the swirl and does slowing down make it more likely that one will get in touch with it?
However, one may always have to slow down and be in touch with one's bodily experience in order to escape the pull of the swirl vortex.
‘I feel worthless’ is not a feeling, it’s a judgement and it actually denies the essential vitality of the living body.
A person who ‘feels bad’, (at fault) can find reasons for this discomfort and so be led to a conviction of worthlessness. Something of value, which is their affective system, is cauterised. And the self soothing capacity is gone.
Often there’s a frightened child image\metaphor; the one who is blamed for being frightened and making a noise by crying. So the super ego becomes a persecuting internal object, and to survive one has to comply with that object, but the compliance becomes crippling because there is no internal authority to be taken up.
R An extreme example: quote from a client “I was incubated in terror” eg the violence - physical or emotional - of the powerful parental figure, and that violence is internanlised and used against the self, with no let up, and it feels irremediable.
Any remedy comes from pausing to question the internal persecution. And seeing it as a construct that can be deconstructed.
< R Story with pictures.....journey to hell and back.
Swirldom maybe is centered around Bosch type imagery that can change from malignant to benign. Swirl journey about re-imageing. Imagination. Fantasy. Both appear real and concrete......to be seen in the journey as constructed and therefore able to be changed. >
However, having a swirl experience feels too real and frightening to be thought of as a construct that is subject to the capacity for change. There is nightmarish terror, and paralysis and victimhood, which, though made up of self generated imagery, have an immediacy and reality that transcends current 'reality'. So it all seems too real and invasive and resistant to change because of the strength or power of the imagery.
Note issues of agency and choice around generation of imagery. Also note effect of mood swings - existential mood states - and the inevitability of suffering as a universal experience. Buddhism.
Stress the difference between ruminating about one’s predicament and blaming others for it and the alternative of taking some action, reclaiming agency and finding a way out that is not just an escape but a pathway to something that affirms life.
We are saying it is everyone’s experience, this hell, and mostly it passes, as does a nightmare, but sometimes the effect of the swirl is lasting, and we feel anxious and depressed, with an underlying unease which can spoil our lives.
So can we get away from this hellish state that we conjure up to torment ourselves with?
This is the story of Jim and his journey to hell and back.......
He hears someone speaking to him, in a voice like a parent, saying things like “You’re worthless.”, “ You’re bad, and will never be good for anything”, “ No one loves you because you are unlovable” This is where negative attributions become set in concrete.
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< K This may be useful:
In his taxonomy of emotions Darwin suggested six basic groups. A century later Silvan Tomkins' four volumes on affect theory listed a very similar set of families of primary emotions:
Joy-enjoyment;
Anxiety-fear-terror;
Irritation-anger-rage-fury;
Sadness-hurt-grief;
Interest-excitement
Surprise-shock;
Distaste-disgust-dis-smell;
And 'shame' >
At a critical point in the spectrum, feeling embarrassed or ashamed turns into being shamed or humiliated. Internally generated shame turns into shaming -- something done to us that violates our sense of 'the fair-go' and not unnaturally we tend to react against this.
These reactions include:
Attacking others (being 'defensive' is just another form of this);
Attacking (or blaming) ourselves;
Hiding from others;
or hiding from ourselves.
This compass of shame-avoidant responses also reflects four major social crises: aggression, depression, isolation, and addiction -- suggesting that the roots of much violence and abuse, suicide and self harm, social and ecological apathy and a wide range of addictive behaviours have a common root in unacknowledged shame.
We often use other feelings to avoid feeling shame. Indeed most of what we feel is more about the other feelings that come with or are associated with shame. Feelings of anxiety/fear, sorrow/distress, irritation/anger, and disgust/loathing are often masks for underlying shame.
They have very different body language and allow us to avoid feeling and showing what our shame might actually feel like. Consider how we use the word 'sorry' to express remorse or apology. The underlying feeling is often 'shame' or 'embarrassment' but saying 'sorry' rather than 'I am ashamed' expresses 'sorrow' or 'sadness' -- verbally and visually -- and it stimulates sadness (rather than acknowledged shame) in the other person.
….............................................................
K Christopher Hitchens refers to his cancer as “ a malignant alien inside me....that will die with me “ Remarkably similar to the internal saboteur, one physical the other emotional, both parasites intent on destroying their host. Perhaps a swirl is a manifestation of this self destructive phenomenon.
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R Swirl
Temporal and spatial co-ordinates. Core-affect distortion.
“Take up your own authority”. Resistance to this is superego voice.
Defenses-re self preservation and diminishment.
In the swirl the person is not in charge of themselves. Defending against the swirl becomes part of the swirl.
R Swirl an aberration.
Conflict between stasis and change:
2 possibilities:
1.The swirl wins
Person understands it and fights etc.
Co-ordinates
Time
Space
Core-unexpressed affect-inhibition
Attunement/attachment
Ps > D
Intensity
Self-loathing
3 step process
Descriptions-way in
Way out
How to pass through the open door.
Dualism a co-ordinate of the swirl
Indecision-anxiety replaces decisiveness.
Without affect..no energy for anything to change.
No affect in centre of swirl. It is a prison
Person can not see
Can not act
Can not think
They are shut down!
Swirls habitual-intentional
Swirls are constructions to deal with fear and anxiety.
Introducing the observing ego-sabotages the saboteur.
Swirl - the internal room
The key?
Recurrent mood states
Swirl communalities:
Narrow spectrum
Deep structure
Diminishment-shame and self-envy
The saboteur is into restriction and imprisonment
Psychic freedom v psychic imprisonment.
Swirl-vortex-suffering
What is the swirl?
Where did we come from?
Where are we going?
Where do we go to when we die?
Despair an attribution
Attributions are always comparative.
Lack of entitlement to authority
Despair is recurrent and triggered.....comes in waves
Identify destructive past
Breathing spaces?
Life and death struggle
Despair tree versus hope tree
Futility
Distraction
Spectrum- the field of psychotherapy is very broad, like the colour spectrum
Psychoanalysis a very small part of the spectrum
Only a very few people are able to distinguish the tonality of psychoanalysis.
Hope tree re neuroplasticity
Our model is a model of recognition that may be a precursor to change
Swirl- 2 x dimensional
Vortex- 3 x dimensional-depth
Different colours for different moods
Swirl-lack of energy and optimism
Energy
Motivation } all lacking
Direction
Person in swirl like a lower animal...trapped
and in a closed system
Movement out of swirl is made possible by taking a different perspective
Get out of swirl by being less referential or self-referential.
Referentiality-symbol formation.
Drive to explore context of swirl rather than be rendered mute by it.
Social swirl v personal swirl.
Distinctions change perspective.
Outer brain v inner brain. Power game being sucke by inner brain.
Self defeating circularity.
Coach model.
Executive self v true self v false self
Graphic of swirl + story
William Blake-dead to the world
Introspection v mindfulness
Increasing agency not enough
More money = more choices? More of the same does not mean better.
Swirls re services
1.Recognition of swirl state
2.What to do about it.Strategies to know it and understand it
3.Consideration of implications of it
Life v death
Issues of the energy component
Energy-destructive or creative.
Image of outer space as metaphor for emotional space
Black hole of depression
Formless galaxy-p.schizoid state- losing touch with reality.
See Pilgrim’s Progress- his Journey is not contemplative, it's all action steps
< Narrative re swirl
‘Jack’ going in. Text of move in and out
Monologue?
Facing swirl rather than flight changes perspective.
“This is my pain not some external master”
Pilgrim’s Progress
Looks like Jack is going into something outside himself >
Vortex is a projection
In vortex the sensorium closes down.
Loss of sensorium > Panic
Re image
1.Swirl- sucked in
2.How to get out
3.Out to where?
Importance of ambivalence
Vortex a cosmic joke!
< R Frames-
1st frame ominous and mysterious
Introduce figure/avatar going into the vortex.
Game player in observing position
Scenes from a swirl:
Moving into a swirl
Entrenched in swirl
Swirl has total control > despair + entrapment
Swirl self constructed saboteur
Game- you v saboteur
Game-2 figures- light v. dark
Game of conflict
Successful outcome - vanquish saboteur
Berne-games
Script to be acted out. What script?
Serious games
Different swirls:
Depression
alienation
Schizoid
Anomie
Isolation
Text and graphics representation of extremes >
Pictures & text-Dante’s Inferno
Reflective space > ability to generate redescription.
1.Waking up-dream memories
2.Transition from dream reality>actual reality.
3.Lack of energy etc- difficulty of getting it back
Note voices-speaking- do not get up!
Negative voice, to be overcome-or denied.
Day in the life of :
A.Transition from dream to reality
B.Transition from bed to getting up - this >
has to combat ritual self-condemnation.
>Critical voice not overcome > transition to swirl.
Something dragging - self loathing.
Saboteur not self destructive - attacks host but does not kill it-Swirl-parasite.
Parasite interdependent (co-dependent) with its host. Its existence depends on its ability to sabotage the host-ie it takes energy away from the host.
The parasite comes from outside. (?)
The saboteur comes from inside.
Difference between dream state and non sleep state.
Difficulty of getting out of bed,
>avoidance of danger
>surfeit of noise
-----------------------------------
R Come out of swirl by going into it.
Storyline
Wake up
Ruminations
>move from worry to being sucked in or taken over by something
Nightmare inside and outside
No choice-into a dark space.
Brief moment between threat of vortex and being sucked in.
Internal power/force feels like the external one.
Form of illness/cancer
Need for a simple story with simple words.
Need for a named person.
In swirl there is a loss of touch with time > no bearings > powerless
Experience of being lost in undifferentiated swirl/vortex
Note the presence in the swirl experience of shame, diminishment and self-loathing.
Where does the power of the swirl come from?
Vortex entry involves a sense of abandonment
Swirl - addictive - acts as home
Swirl familiar - prisoner looks forward to torturer
Craving for the familiar.
Sensorium breaking down- a form of projection.
Denial of authority
Torment preferable to taking up authority.
K There may be a tension between the two, suffering the torment delivered by the punitive internal judge versus the wish for autonomy to take up one’s own authority. Is it possible that this tension is the (or one) origin of the swirl?
Who is in charge??
I am worthless - ego in control
K Sullivan Anxiety is primeval ‘Roles’ are distractions from that When doing (roles) fails swirl sweeps in, although in itself a distraction
K The self attributions “ I’m useless (therefore) there’s no point to anyting “ are the bad aspects of the swirl.
Are ‘Projects’ attempts to override mere distractions?
Importance of differentiation : people don’t want to have the sameness of sheep and just flock together they (mostly) want to have a point of difference eg status and will engage in a project to achieve the difference.
In a swirl personal authority is at lowest ebb, leads to diminishment and a regression to the infant stste of dependence.
R More than one story here. ie different people have different swirl experiences ( as one would expect) so ‘Jim’ will have a different swirl from ‘Jane’ and ‘Bob’s’ will be different from ‘Bill’s”
Swirl-nervous breakdown. Swirl experience is one of not knowing what to do, and panicking. Escaping from this predicament calls for ‘faith’ in one’s being. but in the distress of the swirl, how can one trust one’s capacity to ‘be’ when in a panic and paralysed state?
What is the difference between swirl and other dysfunctional mental states? ie Could the swirl have biochemical causality, or is it always attributable to the psychic conflict as referred to above, and as such self induced? Answer-both!
Swirl about exaggerated false perceptions.
Swirl not just about depression but also terrifying.
Enclosure > zoo metaphors
Image of zoo and onlookers.
4 frames:
1.Enclosure with recognisable animal
2.Bubble
3.Swirl
4.As infant
5.What then-self perception.
In Swirl all about denial-terror.
Alpha /beta apects of self....parts that are in different worlds.
Implicit in the alpha state is a denial of the beta state---of death? or of failure or pessimism or scepticism. In alpha state one is calm confident planful and optimistic ie future oriented. Beta is pre occupied with the past and the pall it casts over the present and future “It won’t work” is beta response to any new idea or proposal.
And maybe the beta state is a denial of the alpha state--denial of vitality for oneself.
Alpha & beta states ..part objects that inhabit different spaces.
In swirl regression to infant state, so necessary to engage adult part.
In swirl, weighed down by negative affect.....and thoughts.
In the middle of a swirl there is nothing.
And in death there is nothing....
So in swirl death is brought forward > fear of nothing in one’s centre.
J staying in bed acting out fear that there is nothing. So bed is a denial of his being and a denial of death. Enacting is but not doing it.
Swirl avoidance of existential loneliness.
As if. Planning antidote to fear of nothingness. We act as if we know the future - that is what planning is. Exploration of ‘as if’. As if values involve constancy.
Centre of swirl not calm. Ego ideal does not include hostility etc-it always involves calm centre.
Ego ideal necessary as aspiration. Calm centre comes from integration. Calm centre involves relinquishing ego ideal
Internal saboteur thrives on fantasy re ego ideal.
3 modus operandi
1.Upper one- Person experiences swirl and learns to understand it
2.Distraction model-swirl experience denied and thus useless > addicted to distraction, alcohol, sex etc
3.Suffering model. Here swirl overtakes persons’ capacity to understand or explore them = paranoid schizoid position.
Difference between self and ego
If person suffering then no distinction between self and ego.
Which aspect of person comes to therapy?-it must be the self. Ego not where the feelings are.
Ego responds to cbt but self isn’t touched by it.
Distraction a defence against indifference /nothingness/ existential despair/ mortality
Omnipotence <> humiliation
I feel bad = attack on self by ego (superego)
Regression = i do not have adult energy - I feel like a baby - but in this context a baby is useless and unworthy.
Judgement a diversion.
Yalom- anxiety -fear of death
Facing anxiety = facing one’s own mortality.
Some swirls exemplars of a diversion from mortality. Others (eg deprssion and anxiety,or anomie) may be induced by despair about being here no longer and having no influence over this.
Self construct so powerful that the ego just gives up. Hopefully temporarily.
R.Relationship between abundance and swirldom. Bifurcation of being and doing. Capitalism about doing not being > psychic confusion.
…......................................
T S Eliot
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
Eliot’s Shadow is like a swirl, inducing inaction, paralysis, and blocking the ‘way out’ with a conviction that one is helpless. That conviction replaces thinking, so the problem cannot be solved.
….........................
‘Difference between self and ego’ Yes, what is the difference? Is ‘self’ a pervasive sense of ‘presence’ and ‘all that is one’s history’ and ‘ego’ a construct that implies a cognitive and executive aspect of the self?
…...................
Notion of overshadowing - an image is overshadowed by the very words used to describe it, and as a result not remembered as well as the image by itself
Where does swirl energy come from? If superego - why is it so powerful?
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< Notes for a an approach to a storyline about the swirl:
It begins - life is jogging along, then one day or more likely one night an uneasy feeling looms into awareness, like a mild anxiety with perhaps some irritability or restlessness. Undirected movement may follow," I can't sit or lie still because something inside me is agitating my body and my mind, like a washing machine is churning in my gut."
First response - Reaching for analgesics or valium or zoloft or a sleeping pill. Or some distraction - TV, DVD, video game, ipod, facebook, email. Maybe a spouse or a friend for some comfort, or anything which might allay the agitation and rising panic and offer possible escape or relief.
The experience - Aware of feeling isolated, because it's unshared, something abnormal, that marks one off as not normal, and when it gets worse, " I had to call the doctor ", " I thought I'd have to get to a hospital.", " I had wild thoughts that I was dying. " , " My body can't cope with this mind chaos, these brain fireworks." , " It's like being in a closed space, claustrophobic, how do I get out when I feel swept up in a swirling vortex, a maelstrom, a grand opera of the soul, with catastrophe imminent? "
" Someone inside is intent on soul murder; who is it? Can I talk to him? Will he answer? Is there anyone there? No, it's just me and my fear, we're bad company. But what is the fear? It's not rational, I can't explain it but it's all mine, it gets going inside me. Is my chemistry out of balance? Are they 'bad thoughts because I feel guilty, ashamed, remorse, regret? It's funneling, whirling, gaining momentum and force, like a tornado, a circular swirl with an empty centre. Is that centre lifeless,
something annihilated? Is that the fear, the panic, the high anxiety? "
What to do? - Stay with the anxiety and agitation, be curious about what is happening, be aware it's happened before, and is not life threatening, observe the shape and form of it, the 'coordinates', do deep and measured breathing, slow the pulse, meditate (if possible), maybe slow walking, slowly sip water.
Perhaps writing a description will calm the anxiety. Stern says feelings are emotions with words attached. Putting words on paper may reveal the emotions behind the feelings. In a panic we forget what it's like to be free of anxiety, like we forget wellness when in illness. But by not drugging or distracting this swirl experience one can encounter strong and real emotion while in an existential mood state, a sense of the fragility along with the energy in the swirl.
The forces of eros and thanatos have joined in battle and the war zone is the inside of one's head. Fit to burst perhaps, but nevertheless alive.
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‘There was a sea of dissatisfaction and emptiness everywhere. And that was why people dreamed of escape.’ Kurt Wallander
Maybe the swirl operates at different levels, personal and all the way up to a societal one.
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By examining ‘the neuroses’ - clinically - they are ‘contained’ by their definition. The diminishment that goes with them is characterised as regression to infant helplessness.
Therapy is a safe house but residence may prevent participation in the wider world. Its claim is that either in or after therapy the client is in a better place/condition to to live inside and outside the self, but it may be a bubble (retreat) that delays or hinders development. RG: therapy is about reducing mental and emotional pain.
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Compare and contrast: (!)
phases one and two of the swirl experience = terror/anxiety/paralysis
phases 3 and 4 = looking into it/exploring the swirl via its co ordinates/ emerging and renewing participation
4 noble truths
1 and 2 = anguish/ suffering and their origins
3 and 4 = cessation and the path
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29th dec ‘10
We both speak of the value of choice, of expanding the client’s potential to choose as a goal of therapy. But this could be a romantic idea, dependent on a faith in the rational nature of making choices, which will facilitate betterment of some kind. We might include emotionally based choice, but still want such choice to bring something positive.
Lone Frank writes: pp 15 - ‘rationality and unconscious automatism fight battles inside us...the outcome determines our view of the world and our everyday choices.’
It might be worthwhile to think more about the issue of choice and how many degrees of freedom are possible, how much is pre determined by nature and nurture and other contexts, how much flexibility is possible because of brain placticity etc
And then there’s the hoary old issue of what we mean by the ‘self’.......
These terms recur in what we write, and we are accountable for how we use them.
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Causes of swirl 20 Jan 2011
Loss of language, of the capacity to express
Suppression of infantile self---- --refusal of same = petrified of diminishment
fear of incapacity - inability to think, to feel, to see what is there, no energy to overcome lethargy or entropy,
Near death experience, the membrane separating one from death is under threat
fear of intimacy, of being rejected by the other if I say what I feel or what I want, and then suffering ridicule, shame and diminishment, so I become restricted and suppress what would be natural to express, and lose my sense of entitlement
Feeling desperate,no hope about anything, about to fall out of life, of living, panic ensuing, next step is complete chaos and disintegration
Feeling uncertain, disoriented, confused, (symptoms of dementia, but the healthy brain is also subject to these phenomena) so that anxiety rises rapidly
Jan 26th ‘11
There are so many ideas and repetitions in the above. How do we integrate them?
What would telling a story about the swirl experience achieve?
Is it a self reinforcing circularity? where does it get the energy that gives it its power?
Another possible story outline: Here is a man -subject to swirls- sensitive to how he thinks others judge him and with an inner voice that judges him as well, and critically. Indeed it hounds him with critical mantras- ‘you’re useless, hopeless, unlovable’
We see him walking aimlessly in a street, alone and downcast- we hear his inner voice- we see into his head, and how the swirl pulls him in-falling into a dark space where he loses energy and purpose and feels helpless and hopeless, panicky and anxious. He stops, leans against a wall, tries to breath deeply and slowly to contain the panic. He walks again, stepping carefully in case he trips over something on the ground, as he has already tripped up inside himself.
What happens then? Is he on his way to meet someone? in a cafe? Is he on the way to the doctor, to get sleeping pills? Does he go back to his rented room, to bed?
[ Even though feeling helpless he does have choices: to succumb completely to the swirl, and despair; to distract himself by drink, drugs, sex, TV, a run; to look around, explore the context and content of the swirl, see its shape, its co ordinates, how it takes control of him, what the voice of sabotage is telling him. Can he push back and question the criticism? Can he go along with the swirly feelings without panicking? and in this way get his bearings again and recognise what he brings to the swirl - it is his, after all - and how he allows it to destroy his self respect and stop any self soothing.]
Re choice-the swirl experience seems to deprive the person of any meaningful sense of agency. That is part of the problem. Within the swirl there is a felt sense of being object and at the mercy of this overwhelming experience. The difficulty is compounded by the seeming impossibility of what is counter-intuitive. Namely being able for example to recognize and own the diminishment in the moment and all that entails. What adds to the swirl experience is the sense of shame that seemingly prevents self acknowledgement.
February 13 ‘11
Note from 27 Jan meeting
Ref Pigrims Progress. We want a modern day narrative/parable with a main character who is on a journey into and out of hell via a swirl experience with nightmarish imagery graphics and text
The idea of the swirl as a virus waiting for a host Something that is outside that crosses the skin boundary and lodges inside. Initially an object, it becomes part of the subject.
A middle voice phenomenon, simultaneously inside and outside
Story line: the swirl is floating free, ‘chooses’ Robert, a suitable subject, and enters him. It is a malevolent force, outside, that becomes an insider, part of the invaded, the host. A parasite that takes varied forms, one being an internal saboteur, voicing self destructive mantras
Feb 17
Is the swirl derived from a useful alarm system eg primitive man’s warning of danger OR the child’s compliance with a parent’s real or imagined wishes,
stifling natural feelings, so that a conflict is established between ‘natural’ expression, which would be functional, and ‘learned’ or artifice behaviours or ‘false
self’ which become disfunctional behaviours convictions, beliefs and attitudes Initial logical/valid/true reaction becomes illogical/invalid/false in another context and therefore dysfunctional.
Hypothesis: 1 false self might arise as a consequence of a swirl or a defence against it.
Hypothesis: 2 My fixed idea (or position) will lead me into a swirl if the idea isn’t working for me. So, any real change requires an observing ego (functions like a supervisor) through which an alternative position might be seen or, putting it another way, requires the shift of position (or perspective) which can bring flexibility to the person’s responses. The challenge then is how to create that possibility. RG says the way is to use distinctions, meaning understanding differentiations rather than conceiving only of complete objects. eg ‘She is an ogre’ is probably no more than an undifferentiated projection, a blanket term which has little meaning and allows for no exploration of this subjective response. Being in a swirl means a contraction of agency; overpowering and totalising, and escaping from a swirl means reclaiming agency and executive capacities and functions. In other words, to reclaim being able to think, slowly and deeply, about what is going on inside and outside oneself.
affect and cognition: swirl hides affect ‘tho it is powerful affect and causes loss of bearings so cognition also is gone > a victim, out of control in a space where there’s a disjunction between what she thinks she feels and what she actually feels. eg opposing the super ego voice is dangerous It’s speedy, the swirl, and entraps, but to be able to slow down the panic may create the space to begin to reclaim cognitive capacity and true affect. The key to slowing down is perusal of and awareness of the co ordinate, the context, the space occupied by the swirl. It’s a reversal, so that the person/victim looks at the swirl rather than being looked at, in the sense of controlled by, the swirl. CF a cat may look at a king
There is affect and affect, layers of affect. Affect on top of affect or affect hiding or a defence against affect. In a way the swirl is felt as an overpowering affective experience but somehow very difficult to describe-when in it. My hunch is that it may invariably be triggered by what may be something like primitive affective experience. By that I mean something-feelings and thoughts that were originally forbidden. So in the wake of the superego there is a sort of bodily eruption whereby the individual becomes paralysed in and by the swirl. I imagine that the only way out is the way that uses distinctions in the observation of what is going on.
The struggle may be that the fear that leaves one entrapped in the swirl is a fear of fear itself, worse than the fear engendered by being helpless in the swirl, and stops any attempt to break free.
So how to break free? How to overcome the fear of the fear, the paralysis, the inability to imagine feeling free? I have to take up my own authority, currently submerged, and establish a beachhead, a small platform, the point of a wedge which can be expanded into a space like a meta position, where the generals view the battle through binoculars, and think strategically. I can then look at the coordinates, the dimensions of my swirl, its features, and become aware of what has brought it on. Is it because I feel sick today, have a worry about my health, about a family member, about whether I dare to engage with life again today? Am I a danger to others if I express how angry and resentful I actually feel inside? Whatever. To get out of what is a temporary self destructive madness I need a meta position, so I can look at myself immersed in my swirl, like standing beside myself and saying “what’s going on in me?”.
The site may depend on the possibility of a shift to a meta position - even if briefly - and if that possibility exists, it’s a way of expanding the initial space, the wedge getting wider, the view getting clearer.
However, is there a ‘real,true, authentic’ self to set against the false self, and to posit as a desirable internal condition to aspire to? The Buddha would say the self is empty, and there is only moment to moment experience. Perhaps the false self cauterises the fluidity and movement is stopped and the person is then caught in the swirl vortex, which is an attempt to stop the flow and fix (and freeze) an aspect of experience which is then controlled and familiar (and brings comfort) so it becomes habitual and in worst case, addictive.
Perhaps we need to think of the self in process terms. Not so much a noun as a verb. So there may be an attempt, not conscious, to resist selving. False selving is an attempt to control selving……………………..in the name of compliance? Is there always a superego voice in this context? But if the superego voice is removed, what then? Dread-freedom-choice-agency? Aloneness-responsibility? for selving, leading to existential mood states of fear and despair?
Maybe initially the move to false selving is quite functional and necessary, and indeed comforting, because it brings parental approbation.
SWIRLS
A swirl is overwhelming and powerful, and feels like being sucked into some awful place, like being cornered and just wanting to get out. It is being sucked into an awful place.
Overwhelmed means feeling small, diminished, ashamed at being helpless and having no space for anything else. Place of suicidality.
Swirls are felt experiences like despair, panic, high anxiety, sense of futility, anomie, isolation, depression, loneliness and worthlessness.
The swirl is in charge, and wants no challenge, so talking about it is hard, as is trying to look at it, but putting what it feels like into words brings it into focus. Being in focus might bring other hidden things forward, and further upset inner equilibrium. The upset may be worth it, or may be just too hard, and the person might withdraw into a defensive shell and wait to be saved by someone or something magical.
Or a small voice might say “Hang on a minute, can I just think about what is going on here, and ask why is this happening now? and exactly what is it that I’m feeling? Can I put it into words? (Assumes an observing ego, or what Birtchnell calls ‘outer me’)
Our hypothesis is that looking at, facing one’s swirl may not be impossible, given the leverage that comes from having some understanding of it. (is this right?)
How to unpack a swirl? Look at the co ordinates; the feelings and thoughts that go with it. Stand back and describe the felt experience of being hemmed in, strangled, sucked in, with no escape. We may reduce the intensity of an existential mood state or swirl by looking at it, bringing it into focus, and facing the possibility that it’s a kind of addiction, a state of mind that comes back again and again, so is familiar and therefore in a strange way comforting as well as awful.
”Coordinates: intensity DSM symptoms are all coordinates. eg been depressed for ? months or an attribution to a feeling, rather than the feeling itself. Need to do an audit of the feelings and the thoughts - how big/small how long? Pain: locating it on a scale of 1 to 10 can ease it, because the pain is being observed in a mindful way. If you tense up, it’s worse; if you can relax, it eases. So, looking at emotional pain involves a fight, but the fighting makes it worse. Maybe there has to be some engagement/attachment for the fight to become something productive instead.
( These sentences might fit somewhere else: When the internal saboteur is in the ascendant, tension rises, like temperature, and the swirl takes over the body.
Becoming relaxed is a way to vanquish the saboteur; an emotionally relaxed state may result from being quiet and mindful.)
Becoming relaxed is a way to vanquish the saboteur; an emotionally relaxed state may result from being quiet and mindful.)
SOCIAL SWIRLS
There are personal swirls and social swirls, both representing existential crisis states.
Social swirls, aka distractive consumer capitalism, exist where ‘must have’ is the basic rule, and globalised trade and economic ‘growth’ justify exploitation of a localised community.
So developing countries aspire to the living standards of the developed ones, and in the process enviously attack their neighbours or minority groups who appear to possess more of what is deemed desirable.
The social swirl is marked by anger, despair and conflict, as the pursuit of ‘must have’ shows itself to be an illusion, and not the easy path promised by the ‘leaders’.
(Maybe it’s best if we leave the social swirls to the sociologists, whose day job is to examine the politics of the larger trends and shifts in distractive late capitalism. Unless of course we can find a useful way to link them, so that each sheds light on the other.)
NICHE?
Where and what is our niche?
We’re not about offering the general cure all, more a specialised and small menu for site visitors who recognise the swirl in themselves and might be curious about sampling the ‘specials’.
In the ‘attention’ economy we would be part of Chris Anderson’s (Wired) long tail, catering for a small group of diners who feel a bit different and want to know what they are eating, why some tastes are bitter, some better, and why some are subtle and hard to pick.
It’s as if our diners are all restaurant critics, who make notes and give feedback on their blogs, which are all named ‘super ego’, and located
inside their heads, not on the net. They mostly can’t self soothe, and become cynical and pessimistic, mocking the ‘deluded’ ones who say they feel ok, thank you.
We know from RPO that reflection and insight are difficult to engage with on the net screen, and we may need to play with the theme of dysfunctional attachment, for example, as a way of enticing a guest into our restaurant, formally registered as ‘Mindfulness’ while its logo might say ‘Quiet Space’.
The image you chose shows a swirl that threatens to suck one in to a hideous hidden inside.
Could we develop two themes? :
one - about the sucking swirling vortex, sweeping the helpless and the overwhelmed into an inner (Birtchnell’s outer) space where they have to resort to artifice in order to survive. Not sure about this. In a way I do not think there is the possibility of resorting to anything. ‘Cos the individual is trapped with nowhere to go, no possibility of thinking-no space-no choice.
two - about the quiet space where one can face and even look into the swirl without being swept away, and in a counter-intuitive way keep it at a safe distance. How? By recognising the co-ordinates that define it.
(Perhaps the virtual restaurant has flat screens with swirl and quiet space graphics that resolve and dissolve, change shape and intensity etc.) This reminds me of Brian Eno and his Luminous displays
Swirls are hot, intense and noisy, threatening and powerful; the quiet space reduces the temperature and intensity.
One voice says you are hopeless ——give up now! Is this the voice of the successful assertive macho who is deriding the loser?
Another voice says don’t give up….you have a lot going for you. This voice represents something that is more liberal and enlightened.
These voices represent social values. re Bridger’s -group in the head. Laing/Cooper Politics of experience.
Power versus helplessness. Diminishment. Voices in the head in opposition.
How to unpack a swirl? Look at the co ordinates. What are they? the possibility of standing back and unpacking the felt experience. Of being hemmed in , strangled, no where to go. eg deep and slow breathing can reduce panic. One can reduce the intesity of an existential state by looking at it. Coordinates: DSM symptoms are all coordinates. eg been depressed for ? months or an attribution to a feeling, rather than the feeling itself. Need to do an audit of the feelings and the thoughts - how strong/weak and for how long? Pain : locating it on a scale of 1 to 10 can ease it, because the pain is being observed in a mindful way. If you tense up, it’s worse; if you can relax, it eases.
So, looking at emotional pain involves a struggle, but the struggle can make it worse. Maybe there has to be some engagement with/attachment to an inner essential/essence for the struggle to become productive.
Swirls are ugly and seem like ugly feeling that involve entrapment.
Swirl coordinates=ontology of swirls.
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‘False self’ and ‘swirl’ may in some way have something in common. Let us develop this.
The child, and later the adult, has to act in ways that comply with a developing superego, and this leads to the formation of a false self because of the superimposition onto the ‘natural’ self of dictates etc from other people or from socially constructed value systems.
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