Swirls

Swirl is a metaphor to describe an existential mood state. It is a deeply unpleasant experience that borders on despair and anguish. When in this state, emotional paralysis takes over. We lose voice, agency and will. We feel diminished. What is unique about the Swirl is that it denotes a range of distressing experiences that go together and relate to an internal physical, emotional and mental space which however might have recognisable dimensions and coordinates. This blog is an attempt to understand and explore the origins, dimensions and effects of the Swirl Swirl is like a black hole; we fall into it or get sucked in. We feel overwhelmed by something stronger than ourselves. The Swirl is different from other emotional states because it brings together descriptors like panic, anxiety and fear and places them in a three dimensional space: i.e. sucked into a swirl as into a whirlpool.

Swirls is a metaphor used to describe the painful experience of feeling sucked into an empty space, a vortex, where initiative and energy are drained away, replaced by helplessness and despair, panic and anxiety. This blog has several organising principles or themes to integrate the myriad thoughts, quotes, examples we have assembled over time. One is the Super Ego, the internal judge which inhibits our autonomy and independence. The concept of an internal judge, or critical voice, goes with the 'internal saboteur' of Fairbairn which, like a parasite, seeks to undermine its host.  It imposes incorrect cognitions on to feelings, (like the child who believes it’s her fault her parents have split up, and is convinced from then on that she is ‘bad’). It leads to self destructive behaviours, and is mostly unconcerned if it goes down with its host. Another theme is diminishment. The Swirl experience always involves feeling diminished, so that the person may 'give u...

Swirl is a metaphor that describes an existential mood state; a common and deeply unpleasant experience that borders on despair and anguish. Being in this state, emotional paralysis takes over. There is loss of voice, agency and will. In this state there is a feeling of being diminished, and life seems pointless. Self talk says: " I am bad and I am in this state because I am unlovable. What is unique about the Swirl is that it denotes a range of distressful experiences that co-exist and relate to an internal physical, emotional and mental space which however might have measurable coordinates. This blog is an attempt to understand and explore the origins dimensions and effects of the Swirl Swirl is like a black hole, in the sense of the fall into a swirl or being sucked into a swirl. And the experience of being overwhelmed by something stronger than oneself. One of the features to explore is whether the Swirl effect comes from a combination of influences from inside an...

A swirl looks like this A swirl feels like this I feel helpless, worthless, hopeless I have no energy, no purpose, I feel isolated I feel overwhelmed I am in despair and afraid I am in a space devoid of hope Panic is constantly with me Something is agitating my body and my mind, and I am anxious.

They are connected, but he is alone, and is disconnected. Robert is on his way to meet Erica. He has no idea if she is interested in him. He is in danger of slipping into doubt and despair. What's going on in his head? Something like this... Distress and despair rule him, and there is a black hole He is caught up in a swirl.

One possibility is an early childhood experience lacking in affirmation or expression of loving feelings. If one cannot ask for what one needs (as a child) then thinking and feeling are badly affected. So the individual is forced into a space of minimal agency where there is no way to negotiate daily life. This is about not having a voice of one's own, instead always hearing someone else's actual or imagined critical words. Someone else holds the initiative and this feels shameful, and so leads to the swirl experience.

Notes from discussions over the past few years, showing the origins of this blog We need an organising principle or objective or a theme to focus on which will begin to integrate the myriad thoughts, quotes, examples we have assembled. It may be the Super ego, the internal judge which inhibits autonomy and independence. Is there some kind of attraction to one’s own swirl, self defeating and destructive though it is? eg wallowing in self pity does offer itself as a way to fill in time, and can be justified, rationalised. Is it possible to create a space between feelings and negative self judgement eg when inside a swirl, 'worthless' is a feeling, whereas from outside a swirl it can be seen as a judgement, an attribution , a thought. Actually, no more than that. So, swirlees mostly feel imprisoned with no way out. Yet counterintuitively there is a fear of pausing, of slowing down, of looking, perhaps because it might “open up the nerve ends.” Is there always an el...