Swirls

I feel helpless, worthless, hopeless I have no energy, no purpose, I feel isolated I feel overwhelmed I am in despair and afraid I am in a space devoid of hope I am all I and no I Panic is constant Roses don't smell of anything I've had wild thoughts that I was dying, and panicked I can’t sit still, something is agitating my body and my mind, and I'm anxious It’s like being in a closed space, it's claustrophobic. How do I get out when I feel swept up in a swirling vortex? Someone inside me is intent on soul murder; who is it? Can I talk to her? Will she answer? Is there anyone there? No, it’s just me and my fear, we’re bad company. But what is the fear? It’s not rational, I can’t explain it but it’s all mine, it gets going inside me. Is my chemistry out of balance? Are they ’bad thoughts' because I feel guilty, ashamed, remorse, regret? It’s funneling, whirling, gaining momentum and force, like a tornado, a circular swirl with an em...

Q & A Swirls by ronken: ronkenj@gmail.com Swirls by ronken: ronkenj@gmail.com Welcome. This is a non linear exploration of a particular painful experience that we name a swirl. A swirl catches you and makes you suffer distress and despair. There is a way into the swirl and a way out. Feel free to send comments to ronkenj@gmail.com Twitter: @swirl123 Q & A Q & A Q. What is this blog for? A. To share thoughts and images about a very painful experience. Q. Who is it for? A. Anyone, but especially those who may have been through a swirl. Q. What is a swirl? A. It is the name we give to an experience of being sucked or pushed into an emotional state of extreme negativity. This negativity always involves self blame. Q. What is this experience? A. It is an experience of disconnection from self and others, and what is left is the sense of being in a... ronken: ronkenj@gmail.com...

Swirl is a metaphor to describe an existential mood state. It is a deeply unpleasant experience that borders on despair and anguish. When in this state, emotional paralysis takes over. We lose voice, agency and will. We feel diminished. What is unique about the Swirl is that it denotes a range of distressing experiences that go together and relate to an internal physical, emotional and mental space which however might have recognisable dimensions and coordinates. This blog is an attempt to understand and explore the origins, dimensions and effects of the Swirl Swirl is like a black hole; we fall into it or get sucked in. We feel overwhelmed by something stronger than ourselves. The Swirl is different from other emotional states because it brings together descriptors like panic, anxiety and fear and places them in a three dimensional space: i.e. sucked into a swirl as into a whirlpool.

Swirls is a metaphor used to describe the painful experience of feeling sucked into an empty space, a vortex, where initiative and energy are drained away, replaced by helplessness and despair, panic and anxiety. This blog has several organising principles or themes to integrate the myriad thoughts, quotes, examples we have assembled over time. One is the Super Ego, the internal judge which inhibits our autonomy and independence. The concept of an internal judge, or critical voice, goes with the 'internal saboteur' of Fairbairn which, like a parasite, seeks to undermine its host.  It imposes incorrect cognitions on to feelings, (like the child who believes it’s her fault her parents have split up, and is convinced from then on that she is ‘bad’). It leads to self destructive behaviours, and is mostly unconcerned if it goes down with its host. Another theme is diminishment. The Swirl experience always involves feeling diminished, so that the person may 'give u...

Swirl is a metaphor that describes an existential mood state; a common and deeply unpleasant experience that borders on despair and anguish. Being in this state, emotional paralysis takes over. There is loss of voice, agency and will. In this state there is a feeling of being diminished, and life seems pointless. Self talk says: " I am bad and I am in this state because I am unlovable. What is unique about the Swirl is that it denotes a range of distressful experiences that co-exist and relate to an internal physical, emotional and mental space which however might have measurable coordinates. This blog is an attempt to understand and explore the origins dimensions and effects of the Swirl Swirl is like a black hole, in the sense of the fall into a swirl or being sucked into a swirl. And the experience of being overwhelmed by something stronger than oneself. One of the features to explore is whether the Swirl effect comes from a combination of influences from inside an...

A swirl looks like this A swirl feels like this I feel helpless, worthless, hopeless I have no energy, no purpose, I feel isolated I feel overwhelmed I am in despair and afraid I am in a space devoid of hope Panic is constantly with me Something is agitating my body and my mind, and I am anxious.